Hide your face and grab the kids. Coming soon to a TV in your child's bedroom is a posse of righteous, Sharia-compliant Muslim superheroes -- including one who fights crime hidden head-to-toe by a burqa.
These Islamic butt-kickers are ready to bring truth, justice and indoctrination to impressionable Western minds.
Scheduled for release on the new network The Hub -- formerly Discovery Kids -- which launches today (Time Warner and DirecTV carry it in the city), is a cartoon beloved in the Arab world and received timidly in Britain last year, "The 99."
The program chronicles the adventures of 99 superheroes, each of whom embodies an attribute of Allah.
Jabbar is a Muslim Incredible Hulk. Mumita is wicked fast. But Wonder Woman-style cleavage has been banned from the ladies. And, in this faith-based cartoon, hair-hiding head scarves are mandatory for five characters, not including burqa babe Batina the Hidden.
In another break from standard world-saving fare, male and female characters are never alone together. (Imagine the stoning super-strong characters would dish out.) "The 99" even has the seal of approval of a Sharia board -- which polices Muslim law -- affiliated with an Islamic bank from which the show received financing.
The story line is based on an historical event: the sacking of 13th-century Baghdad and the burning of that Islamic empire's library. At the time, it was the largest repository of knowledge in the world. In the comic books, Muslim teenagers from such diverse places such as Saudi Arabia, the Philippines and Hungary, work to bring wisdom and reason back to the world.
Jabbar, a Hulk-like figure from Saudi Arabia, has enormous strength, Noora, a young woman from the United Arab Emirates, has power over light. Darr, a blond American boy in a wheelchair, can relieve and inflict pain. Standing in their way is an evil multinational corporation and its leader, who wants to keep the world ignorant and violent.
The only thing stranger than an American network introducing a children's show about Muslim superheros who "embody the attributes of Allah," would be if that program was enthusiastically endorsed by...you guessed it!...Barack Hussein Obama. In a meeting with Arab entrepreneurs, Barack Hussein Obama (who, like other superheros, guards his true secret identity) praised the comic series which inspired the show, saying the "superheroes embody the teachings of the tolerance of Islam." Frankly, we're not sure why you need a guy who looks like The Hulk to teach tolerance; it sounds a lot more like intimidation. But if the "education" president says this is good for our kids, then it must be good for our kids...and we think they should watch! As long as the boys (Allah be praised!) watch in one room...and the dreadful little girls watch in another.
According to The Wall Street Journal, Naif al-Mutawa, the 39-year-old Kuwaiti entrepreneur who started the original "The 99" comic-book series is backed by Islamic-compliant private investors. He is a psychologist who grew up in the U.S.
The "new" Wonder Woman
"I'm hoping that it will be the next Pokémon," Mr. Mutawa says, referring to the Japanese characters that created a sensation in the 1990s as they cropped up on trading cards, television, electronic games and elsewhere.
"Elsewhere" for "The 99" already includes a number of theme parks in Saudi Arabia.
No doubt out of respect for the belief system of Wonder Woman's new "team," DC Comics has already stripped Wonder Woman of her healthy good looks and her patriotic red, white, and blue costume, and has required her to "cover up" with a baggy black leather jacket and matching tights.
When in the presence of Shariah law, even Wonder Woman can't be wonderful anymore.